


To Lie In Honesty Is Honest Deceit

by CaptainIronAvenger1996



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Lori was not the best wife, M/M, Shane is a liar, Shape Shifters, but they grow up, everyone figures out the truth eventually, everyone has secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-07 21:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4277994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainIronAvenger1996/pseuds/CaptainIronAvenger1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shifters were not welcome among 'normal' people Daryl knew. So it was no shock that the group was afraid of him but why wasn't Rick? He knew the Sheriff's Deputy was lonely because of all the hate being directed at him but he didn't deserve any of it. So why was he so understanding? Why didn't he hate everyone? Why wasn't he scared? What was he hiding? *CHAPTER 6 UPDATED AND ADDED TO*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And His Name Was Rick

**Author's Note:**

> So first TWD multi-chaptered fic. Plus I'm just kinda unsure of this. Just want to know if anyone thinks I should continue. Hope you enjoy!

The Fox in Daryl knew there was something off about Rick. He was human, of that Daryl had no doubts, but the Fox had other thoughts on that matter. The damn thing practically craved the leader's companionship at all times of the day, yipping excitedly in the back of Daryl's mind whenever the leader was near. Of course the constant chatter was annoying but at the same time he only scolded the being with mock exasperation. He would die before he said anything but he found the Fox's fondness of the leader relaxing. If the Fox hadn't liked the man Daryl had taken to spending most of his time with it would have caused some serious problems between the Man and his Canine. At first he had only spent time with the man because no one else would, the man was surrounded by people yet Daryl didn't think he'd ever been more alone. 

The Shifter could relate. 

When Rick and Shane had arrived at the highway the Fox had gone on alert. The canine did not like the brash former deputy, preferring the calmer way of doing things like Rick did. After he and Glenn had found Randel he knew exactly what was happening and made a dash back to the farm with his Fox growling in anger. Shane was going to hurt Rick. Shane was going to kill him. When they arrived and found both men still gone dread had filled Daryl's stomach, he couldn't put down anymore group members. They hadn't been able to save Sophia and they'd have lost Dale if Rick hadn't been such a good shot. He had wanted to go find the Deputy but then the herd came and chaos erupted. He doesn't know how they did it but they all managed to meet at the highway, the Greene's had lost Jimmy and Patricia but Hershel found both of his daughters. Lori was pacing trying to find Carl and Shane, Rick being an after thought while Andrea stayed with Dale. Carol was at his back and T-Dog to his right with the truck but still no sign of the leader. 

When they pulled up Daryl knew something had gone wrong. Both Daryl and his Fox felt immense relief to see Rick alive but it faded when he noticed the slight limp to the man's normally bow legged gait. Shane was holding his shoulder and grimacing, standing a good distance away from the other Deputy with Carl in the middle. Lori let out a sob and rushed to grab her son and check over Shane. Rick walked past the scene like it was nothing new. Daryl felt a pinch of anger at that but quickly smothered it, that was Rick's problem, not his. The older man asked how everyone was and found out they were all relatively unharmed before ushering them all into vehicles and pushing them on. The Hunter wanted to reach out for the man and ask him what had happened but he knew he'd find out soon enough. 

Boy had he found out. The vehicles had eventually run out of gas and the group started the trip down the road on foot. Everyone was tired and exhausted by the time the light started fading so Rick told everyone they would set camp for the night off the side of the road. Of course everyone launched about how it wasn't safe but Daryl kept his mouth shut. Something was about to happen, both he and his Fox knew it, and he intended to be ready. Shit hit the fan when Rick finally broke down and told them what he'd been told by Jenner about them all being infected. Glenn was immediately in Rick's face about how he had no right to keep them from him and Rick told him he was sorry but that he'd done what he felt was right.

Daryl felt a touch of respect for that. If he'd told everyone back at the CDC what he knew how many of them would have walked out of there? They would have given up and Daryl knew it. And while this wasn't much of a life they were still alive, they were still together, and that's what mattered. Besides, how many of them could have continued on with the knowledge that Rick carried? Daryl knew that Glenn certainly couldn't have done it because he wanted honesty from everyone and that was all well and good, but honesty wasn't always what people needed so he should back the fuck out of Rick's face. The Fox let out a growl in agreement, he didn't appreciate the way Rick was being looked at, like he was some kind of enemy. 

Of course it had to get worse when Lori asked for what had happened. Shane immediately launched into how they had been tracking Randel when they come into the field. They had broken into an argument about Lori and Carl, Rick telling Shane to back off of his family and he was here now. Shane was using that voice that said 'oh yeah it was my fault, don't blame him', telling them all Rick had drawn his knife and told him to back off. Shane had been afraid and fired off a shot when Rick lunged at him with his knife. Everyone was astonished and disgusted. Daryl tensed up. 'Liar!' he wanted to scream but Rick had stayed quiet. He knew Shane was lying and he wasn't stopping it, why wasn't he saying anything? He saw Rick shift his leg back some to hide the blood that had begun to pool around the wound Shane had conveniently not mentioned. 

Everyone bought it hook, line, and sinker. 

After that Daryl could see the group practically shun Rick, not even his wife and son would talk to him. Shane was treated as a hero and leader but Daryl wouldn't even look at him. It made him sick to his stomach. Lori was a glacier to her husband and Carl wasn't much better, glaring at his father with hate and mistrust. Any opportunity he got to show that he looked up to Shane more than he father he took, often times talking about his father had never done this or that and how Shane would make such a cool dad. Rick never said a word. Carol wasn't any better with her cruel words and total disregard for Rick's well being. She would often do the cooking for the group, distributing the food to everyone and ignoring Rick. No one called her out on it. He would get his own food and split it between Carl and Lori, leaving very little for himself. Did anyone see him do this? No but Daryl was beginning to see that Rick didn't want them to see because he knew it would be rejected if they did. 

Daryl wasn't much better with the group due to his Shifter nature. In schools kids were taught Shifters were dangerous and should be put down but of course not in those words. Shifters were seen with fear and mistrust because of the fact that they could be two different forms. Everyone seemed to think they could be taken over by their animal halves but it wasn't possible. It's not like he was a feral animal, he had the instincts of the animal and could communicate with him but it wasn't such a thing like being 'taken over'. Of course they were grateful for his nature now. After all he and Rick were the providers, they are the ones who hunted and scouted for shelter ahead which is what was happening now. 

They had lost the farm a few months ago and winter had hit hard. Things within the group were even worse then they had been months before, Rick and him were still outcasts and Shane was king of the hog. Rick's leg had healed up finally but left a nasty scar behind. Daryl will never forget watching from a far as Rick dug the bullet out of his leg with his bare hands, alone. The archer had wanted to help but knew it would not be welcomed. Rick needed to do this himself, but it didn't stop the anger from rising. Since then he had taken to sticking with the leader at all times. When they were in the group Rick was a blank slate, no words spoken and no emotion expressed or any reaction given to the looks and jabs he received. But when it was just him and Daryl the Deputy was a completely different man. He was a lot like what Daryl thought he'd been before everything had gone down the drain, both the world and his family. Rick was kind and funny and still did everything he could for the group despite how they treated him.

Once Daryl had confronted him and asked him why he would even consider it but Rick's answer had shut him down immediately. The former Deputy gave him a pained smile and asked him how he'd felt growing up as a Shifter amongst humans. Daryl had gotten angry and told him exactly how it had felt and grabbed him by the collar for daring to bring it up. Rick hadn't fought back, simply given him that same pained smile and asked if he would every treat anyone like that himself. Daryl had balked and told him he would never treat anyone like that, no one deserved that kind of treatment especially for something that they couldn't control. Rick asked him why he expected for the Deputy to simply turn his back on the group because they had done it to him. Daryl couldn't think of a reason beyond the fact that all of it had been a lie, Shane was lying through his teeth and Rick was letting him. The other had been shocked by the fact that Daryl knew but he laughed and said he should have known that Daryl would be the one to figure that out. The Fox had preened under the compliment and Daryl didn't do much better. But after an answer like that the Hunter felt like he had gotten to know the Deputy better in that one sentence than he had in the past few months. 

Daryl hated physical contact. It repulsed him to a degree that he almost became sick when he was touched and he never willingly touched anyone except in fits of rage. Sometimes he wished he could just reach other and pat Rick on the back or slug his shoulder to tell him that he was here without saying the words but he couldn't. The archer didn't think he'd ever be okay with touch, too many bad things went with it. But his Fox was different. The beast craved physical contact and going so long without it was making the Fox restless. He wanted to run and hunt on 4 legs but the group was already uncomfortable with just knowing he was a Shifter he couldn't even imagine how they'd react to seeing it. Rick had never seemed to have a problem with him but he didn't want to push anything with the man. 

They had been searching in the woods for hours now desperate for something and the Fox was becoming unbearable, whining and yelping to get out. It was making Daryl go crazy. Rick seemed to notice something was up but he didn't bring anything up and for that Daryl was grateful, he didn't want to take his frustration out on the man. This went on for another hour or so before Rick let out a frustrated sign and gave the hunter an annoyed look, "Will ya just Shift already? You're gonna twitch outta your skin if ya don' do somethin' soon." 

Daryl just gaped at the other. He was...telling him to Shift? Rick continued to glare at him and part of him was amused but he mostly didn't know what to do. "You're actually okay with me Shiftin'? It ain't gonna scare ya or nothin'?"

The other man rolled his eyes, "It ain't gonna scare me so would ya hurry up an' get to it? Your twitchin' is scarin' every critter in a ten mile radius!" 

Daryl huffed at the man and gave a playful sneer. Rick wasn't freaked out, in fact he was encouraging Daryl to Shift! The archer wasn't going to waste time and let Rick change his mind but before he could ask the other to turn around he'd already turned to give Daryl his privacy. Without missing a beat Daryl hurried to take off his shirt and pants without ripping them, he only had so many clothes now and he couldn't demolish any simply because he was anxious. Next he set his crossbow against a tree and felt the beginning of the Shift. Humans thought it was painful like in all the movies but it really wasn't all that bad. At first his body was flooded with warmth and the bones began to shift within him. There wasn't any glowing light or anything but it was kind of strange to witness, it unsettled most Humans. 

A low whistle made the Fox's ears cock and reminded him he wasn't alone. The red and white Hunter felt his chest swell with pride at the appreciative look the Deputy was giving him. Daryl was so glad that Rick couldn't see the blush he knew was decorating his face at the moment, not many people appreciated this form of his. Merle had always told him he was too girly to be taken seriously and would slip into his Dingo other half to show Daryl what a true canine looked like. It had always irked him, his older brother's attitude, but he'd learned to just ignore it and move on but now Merle wasn't here. Only Rick was. 

"That is one magnificent form Daryl." 

The Fox gave a short yip and padded gracefully over to the man he considered a leader. Rick looked at the beautiful scarlet coat of the Fox and slowly lowered his hand, not reaching out to touch without permission. Daryl let out a cry of relief at the motion in his mind; the man before him understood. He knew Daryl hated touch, didn't want a hand anywhere near him and kept that respect for him even in this form. He didn't make any kind of assumption that Daryl would be alright with hands on him like this. The Fox in Daryl was so pleased with the contact as it reached up and rubbed Rick's hand along its head. Slowly Rick lowered to a crouch in front of the Fox and let the beast smell his other hand, to know he had no intention to harm the Fox. 

"You might not like it Daryl, but you're gorgeous." 

There was such awe in Rick's voice, such genuine praise. Daryl didn't understand why this man was so understanding but he wasn't going to complain. If his companion enjoyed him like this and in human form what more could he ever ask for? In an unusual display of affection the Fox lifted its head and bumped Rick's cheek with its own. Without missing a beat Rick gave a little bump of his own before standing up and looking down at the Fox at his feet. 

"Now maybe we can get some huntin' done." 

Rick took Daryl's clothes and placed them in his pack he always carried, he gently picked up the Hunter's crossbow and put the strap on his shoulder. Daryl gave a slight yip like a warning but Rick just gave him an unimpressed look before going down the trail again. The Fox followed closely behind and kept his ears perked for any kind of movement. 

The real hunt started now.


	2. Honest Deceit

Daryl Shifted back to Human form reluctantly, it had felt so good to run on four legs again and hunt once more. Rick handed the man the bag with his clothes in it with a small smile before looking away and clearing his throat, "I don't mind if ya Shift when we hunt. It wouldn't make me uncomfortable."

The archer paused in the middle of buckling his belt and gave the other a wide eyed stare. "What in the hell is wrong with ya?"

Rick gave him a look that was a cross between offended and confused, "What'd ya mean?"

"I mean why are ya so okay with this shit? Didn't they teach y'all in school to not be okay with us? Or are ya up ta somethin'?" 

The former Deputy felt his heart clench at that. The others hated him and he knew it. But that was okay because they were safe. His own son hated him but that was okay too. Because he was still alive and safe. But Daryl not trusting him? Rick didn't think he could handle that, the man was his only company, his one companion. He wanted so bad to tell that other why he was so understanding, that he knew how confined he felt, but Daryl would ask for proof. 

Proof he was no longer able to give. 

Straightening his back and clearing his face Rick took the bag of meat that they had gathered before heading back to the camp on his own. Daryl could find his way back. 

Daryl watched the other man walk off and felt like kicking himself. What had he been thinking snapping the Rick like that? The man had been nothing but kind and he'd thrown in back in his face! The Fox gave a whining growl at Daryl and for once Daryl didn't argue with his other half. But it just made no sense to Daryl all of his life he'd been treated like trash because of what he was. No one took the time to get to know him before they judged him. They just saw the gruff personality and the brand on the side of his neck that marked him as a Shifter before they high tailed it out. Hell even some of the group was like that. 

Glenn was a nervous person by nature Daryl could tell, shy to the point of almost being awkward. His humor and honesty saved him in most cases but neither of those could really be used in Daryl's case so the kid was at a loss for how to treat the Shifter. Carol was just looking for someone who understood loss but before she hadn't even given him a second glance. T-Dog didn't seem to care much really. He never made any moves against Daryl but he certainly didn't try to welcome the Shifter and that was fine, at least he didn't give Daryl any false impressions.The Greene family didn't seem to mind him for the most part either but they were still a bit wary of him. Dale and Andrea were scared of him. He could see it every time they looked at him when he brought food back with Rick. Of course Shane and Lori made their opinions obvious; they didn't like him only used him since their lazy asses couldn't do anything. Carl looked towards Daryl with a touch of apprehension but wanted to know what it was like to Shift, now that he stayed with Rick? He was the enemy and Carl made just as many slights at him as he did his own father. 

But Rick...the man was an enigma of a different kind. Both Daryl and his Fox often times found themselves seeking out the other the rare occasions they weren't together. It was like he'd finally found someone who didn't give a rat's ass about what he was or who he'd been before all of this shit. He was just Daryl. And to be able to run on four legs again, to chase after rabbits and feel the small bodies squirming in his jaws felt like coming home. And it was all because of Rick. Because this man gave him a chance to be himself since he knew what it felt like to be feared and hated for things out of your control, things you didn't do. 

And Daryl had accused him of being up to something. 

The man felt the equivalent of his ear being nipped at by his Fox in his mind. Heaving a sigh Daryl started back towards the camp to see if maybe he could save even just a tiny portion of his unexpected friendship. 

 

Back at camp wasn't anything new really. They'd only caught a couple of rabbits and some squirrels but it was enough for starving people. Rick had skinned the kills and passed them off to Carol who was now doing something to them by the fire. Daryl guessed she hadn't even said thank you when she'd snatched them from Rick's hands like he was toxic. It always annoyed the Hunted when she did that, Rick worked hard while she and everyone else just reaped the fruits of the Deputy's labor. Of course Daryl hunted as well but he was used to being disrespected because of his nature. The funny thing about these people was that they knew it was wrong. They knew it wasn't right and still did nothing. Dale and Hershel knew that Rick was being treated badly, and even if they had believed Shane's story their need to remain as civil people screamed at the obvious abuse. 

But they never said anything. 

Daryl understood. Defending Rick meant going again Shane and that was not a good place to be, especially in Hershel's case what with his daughters and all. But it still made a part of Daryl glare in contempt at them. What part of keeping their humanity entails ignoring a good man and watching him fade like nothing? As much as Dale preached about keeping the humanity of the group, he certainly didn't practice his teachings. But that wasn't new. People were notorious hypocrites, the biggest Daryl had ever known. Animals didn't try to appear as what they weren't, they were what they were. It was honest deceit. Merle had thought he was crazy because there was no way deceit could be honest but Daryl disagreed. Camouflage was a form of deceit, it made you appear as what you aren't but animals didn't do it to lie. Animals did it to survive in the world and remained true to their nature. To the Hunter that was honest deceit and he could live with it. 

People like Dale and Carol, they were just hypocrites. It was disgusting and revolting and made Daryl's skin crawl. They said one thing but they're actions didn't match. Such as right now. Daryl watched from the side as Carol dished out the meat for everyone, but they were short 2 plates. How convenient. Carol at least had the decency to send Daryl a sheepish look but completely ignored Rick and the fact that he wasn't getting any food. The Fox sneered at the grey-haired woman and Daryl let the expression show on his face. He saw the color quickly leave her face as she looked down at what she was doing, yeah she knows she's not doing the right thing. Dale had watched the exchange and he stood up slowly and put his hands up like he was approaching a wild beast, "Now take it easy son, she didn't mean to short anyone any food." 

Daryl let out a snort at that. Like hell she didn't. Shane stood up and made his way over to the Shifter, strutting like a king. "You got something to say there Dixon? You don't like there not being enough food maybe you and that bastard should actually catch some stuff!" 

The Fox in Daryl let out a howl at the insult and surged to the front of Daryl's mind. How dare he! The older man stepped forward to where he was chest-to-chest with the so called leader and stared right into his eyes. There was a flicker of fear inside the former Deputy's eyes but it quickly flashed out of existence, Daryl still saw it though. "Why don't you go out there and try your luck at it if you think we're slacking."

"That's y'all's job! Not mine!" 

Baring his teeth Daryl let out an annoyed huff, "And what exactly is your job?" 

Lori came up behind the leader and glared at Daryl, "He leads us! Gives us shelter, makes sure we're taken care of!" 

Letting out a bark Daryl rolled his eyes at the queen bee. "Is that so? So when Rick and I find places for us ta rest, find food ta eat, that's not much compared to him right." 

Before either could say anything Daryl turned around and stalked off, leaving everyone behind and going back into the dark forest on his own.


	3. Everything Has a Reason

Daryl didn't know why he was so angry. To a degree yes he did but at the same time, he knew better. He knew what these people were like and he shouldn't have been surprised that they treated him like that. Call it naive hope but Daryl always tried to see the best in people he really did. So when reality decided to kick in it always left him feeling unbalanced and stupid, and he would die before he admitted it, but it hurt too. He hadn't done anything to these people but he was still treated like he wasn't worth the dirt on their boots. Merle was right. He always was about how people would see them. And Rick! What in the hell had he done that warranted that kind of behavior from people? What right did Carol have to judge Rick? The Hunter knew he was being slightly unfair but at the same time Rick had done a lot for this group. 

When Sophia ran into the woods Carol didn't go after her. Shane didn't go after her, hell Daryl didn't go after her! But Rick did. Rick ran to save that little girl and he did. He tried to make sure they didn't get over run by Walkers to where he couldn't keep her safe. He'd had to use other ways to kill those two dead bodies and having to watch a child on top of that, one screaming and crying, was just too much for one man. He told her how to get back to the group, it wasn't Rick's fault she hadn't made it. But Carol had blamed Rick from the moment he came back to that highway alone, begging to know if Sophia had come back. Daryl had seen Rick's face, he'd been crushed when he'd heard Sophia hadn't returned and he immediately went back for her. Carol still didn't go looking. Shane had done nothing but criticize Rick for telling her to keep the sun on her left shoulder like he was an idiot. And Rick had still gone looking for her after his own son was shot, after he'd given up so much blood Hershel didn't think he'd make it almost. Rick was still out there organizing searches for this little girl. Add in Hershel's pet walkers and all the secrets Rick knew that they didn't? What in the hell gave any of those people the right to just toss him aside. 

A twig snapped behind him and Daryl whirled around, automatically reaching for his crossbow. Which wasn't there. The Hunter cursed and grabbed his knife and brought it up to a striking position. He waited for a walker to appear but it never did instead a pair of ocean blue eyes and a bow legged gait appear before him. Daryl lowered his knife and let out a rough breath, "Damnit Rick, thought you's was a walker or somethin'!" 

Rick let out a slight chuckled and murmured an apology before holding Daryl's crossbow out to him, "Didn't feel comfortable with ya not havin' this with ya." 

The long haired man took the weapon gratefully and pulled the familiar strap onto his shoulder where it belonged. Seeing as how they were on their own for food Daryl figured they'd have to hunt again but no way in hell was he taking any food back to those fuckers. They could kiss his red, white, furry ass! "We need ta get some food." 

Rick nodded in agreement, bringing a hand up to rub at his neck. The Hunter noticed that he did that a lot and he always looked like he was in pain of some sorts. Daryl could relate to an extent; when his brand had first started to come in it had felt like there was a hot iron pressing into his neck from the inside, burning and stretching. The thing about the brands on Shifters was that at first it started off small but then it grew as you got older and it didn't all have to be in one marking. The first mark Daryl had received had been on the side of his neck per the norm for every Shifter but it had been a knot with the face of a fox in the middle. While Merle's brand took up the whole of his back Daryl's broke. The Celtic fox on his neck wove its vines around the back of his neck to make a knot with a whole fox leaping. Later on two demons had appeared on his back but he wasn't shocked. In Celtic lore foxes were known to represent trickery and if anything Daryl supposed that demons were the trickiest you could get. 

"Ya know a Fox really suits ya." 

Daryl blinked at the other but the man was refusing to look at him. He wasn't sure he'd heard right, but if he had what in the hell would Rick know about it. 

Said Deputy gave a scoff, "Your brand, it's the Celtic fox symbol." 

"I didn't say nothin'." 

Rick gave the other a funny look. "Daryl...ya asked how I'd know anythang about that. In Celtic lore foxes represent cunning and wit, they're considered guides and know the trees better than any mortal. Foxes were known for quick thinking and adaptability, they could slip into places that would be dangerous for others. Add into that the fact that they were notorious for observing everyone else but remaining unnoticed I'd say a Fox is exactly what ya are." 

There was heat running into Daryl's cheeks like a furnace but that wasn't what was processing with him. This man had once again proven to be different from anyone else by knowing all of that. It wasn't exactly common knowledge and shifters were very protective of their natures, in fact it was almost unheard of for a non-Shifter to know much about brands let alone what each specific one meant. "How in the hell could ya possibly know all that?!" 

It was Rick's turn to be embarrassed. He looked down at the ground and shuffled his feet a bit, "I like ta know stuff. Thangs that just come up's all." 

Daryl just scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Of course ya do. Ya sound like a Shifter." 

The Fox gave a whine at that, oh how perfect it would be to have another Shifter around. Especially a handsome one like Rick. The man was an Alpha in every sense of the way and Daryl wouldn't have minded rolling over for that in a heartbeat. If they had been on their own Daryl would have already offered it up to Rick despite the fact that he wasn't a Shifter. But alas he still had the dead weight with him and among that weight was Rick's 'family' if it could even be called that. That stupid bitch, giving up an Alpha like Rick for a wanna be like Shane. Daryl could tell the difference between the two immediately; Shane would treat his mate with old world ideals almost like a dictatorship. But Rick...Rick was the type of Alpha who would spoil his mate. He was the type to bring his loved one surprise gifts and take them on unexpected dates anywhere from a cheesy drive in to a fancy restaurant. Rick would give his someone special anything and everything they'd ever dream of wanting. Shane would have sex with his mate while Rick would make love to his. Daryl suspected that Rick was the type to tell his love how gorgeous they were, how beautiful and how much he loved them while Shane seemed the type to make all kinds of somewhat derogatory comments. 

Rick made a noise that Daryl couldn't distinguish and shrugged his shoulders, "S'just some facts..." 

Yeah. Just some facts. But those facts meant the world to Daryl, meant someone knew him in the most intimate of ways. If Daryl wasn't so repulsed by touch he'd want to whisk the younger Deputy away and curl up in a den with him, to just be with Rick in every way possible. Rick made him feel...secure. Like he could go places without checking over his shoulder every few seconds. He wasn't even sure if Rick was bisexual hell Daryl didn't really label himself as anything he just wanted what he wanted. And he wanted Rick, wanted him badly. He knew that the physical aspect would take him years to work out and even then he might not ever be okay with going all the way even with a mate like Rick. Rick would respect him and his limits whatever they were simply because that's who he was. In his heart Daryl knew he would love to lay with Rick like that, to be under him and to be loved by him but his mind always told him that touch was bad nothing good get away. 

So maybe he and Rick weren't meant to be but he'd love to try it anyway. "Do ya ever think of just leavin'?"

Of course he knew what the answer was. No. 

"Every damn day." 

Wait. What? 

Daryl spun around and looked into the younger man's blue eyes. Those eyes looked so lost, so hurt and betrayed, but under it was was something worse; resignation. The Hunter took a step closer to the Deputy and made sure he was looking him straight in the face, "Then let's go Rick. Just you and me right now. We don't owe those cowards nothin'! That blood would be on their own hands, not our's." 

Rick ran his hands over his haggard looking face, god the man had lost weight. His cheek bones were prominent as were the bruises under his eyes. "I want to Daryl. I want ta just leave and not look back. To just say fuck you to them but I can't. And you can't either." 

"Why not?!" Daryl threw his hands up in the air, "Rick we are riskin' our lives for people that wouldn't even come lookin' for us if we disappeared. Hell the son and wife you're givin' all your food to wouldn't care if ya dropped dead right here, right now! So why are we doin' this?" 

Rick gave him that same pained smile, "Because it's who we are Daryl." 

Daryl gave him a disgusted look but let out a sigh. The man was right, he hated it, but he was right. Those people wouldn't last a week without them here and even if they didn't admit it they knew it was true too. "Fuck it. Fine! But I ain't goin' back to that camp. And you shouldn't either." 

Rick gave him a confused look, "Daryl I thought we just established that we weren't leavin'." 

Said Hunter nodded, "And we ain't. But I think you and I should set up our own camp a ways away from 'em. Far enough to where we can keep an eye on 'em but don't have ta hear heir bullshit. We can drop off the food and keep some for ourselves so we don't have ta go out twice." 

Rick looked like he was considering it and Daryl considered that a win of sorts, at least he didn't dismiss it immediately. "Alright, I can agree ta that." 

The Fox gave an excited yip at the thought of having Rick all to himself while Daryl himself let a small smile find its way out. Rick gave him a quirk of the lips before nodding his head towards him, "I'm sorry about takin' off on ya earlier." 

"Don't. I provoked ya. It's just...Rick it's hard for me ta understand why you're so okay with me. Why ya actually look to me like an equal." Daryl rolled his shoulders as he tried to explain his feelings but he wasn't quite sure how. 

There was that frown again. Rick was hiding something but for the life of him Daryl couldn't figure out what. Blue eyes closed as Rick bit at his lips, trying to find the right words. 

"Daryl if I could tell you why I would. But if I told ya then you'd ask for proof and at the moment I can't give ya that proof. 'M not sure when I'll be able ta give it to ya if ever. Ya deserve ta know Daryl but...I'm just not ready ta lose ya. Not yet." 

Those blue eyes were begging Daryl to understand that he wanted to tell him. The Fox whined at the pain in those eyes and Daryl found himself wanting to do the same. Whatever it was that Rick wasn't telling him was killing the Deputy, slowly but surely and while Daryl wanted to know he also didn't want to lose what he had either. If Rick was scared to lose him maybe he had a chance to do something about the situation. Trust wasn't his strong suit in fact he sucked at it but Rick was worth the effort of it. 

Daryl gave Rick a slow tilt of his head to show that he would trust him with this. There had to be a reason for all of this and Daryl would be around to find out why. The bright smile that Rick shot his way proved that he was doing the right thing. "Come on, I think we deserve to get somethin' special for dinner." 

Rick let out a laugh at the older Hunter's grunt, "And what do ya suggest? I think Burger King is closed." 

Daryl shot him the bird over his back as he started walking off."Fish ya asshole. There's a creek not too far east of here." 

In the back of Rick's mind a loud purring growl echoed through. He felt his canines extend briefly before pulling back. Oh yes. He could get behind fishing.


	4. Nature Vs. Nurture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad ya'll are liking this! And I'm so sorry about the chapter lengths. Literally all of this is being typed on my phone so to me it looks much longer than it actually is...anyway I hope you enjoy!

Rick's family had been well respect growing up, his dad even lead the neighborhood watch and his mom was the ideal soccer mom. They'd had high expectations of him from the start and he always hated to disappoint anyone so he did the best he could with what he had. He was always a bit different from the other kids in his community 

Daryl reminded him of how he used to act as a kid, an outsider, always having to prove himself. He can only imagine how it was for Daryl at there home with a sibling like Merle and an abusive parent. The older man had never said he'd been abused but he was a cop, he knew what to look for and Daryl was a prime example of child abuse that had never gotten reported. It was one of the reasons he got along with the other man in truth, at least Daryl acted true to his nature. 

Unlike Rick. 

 

There was a weird scent that hit the air for just a second, but Daryl was on alert. It had almost smelled...feline like. But he hadn't sensed any other animals around in these woods. He looked back at Rick but the other just gave him a curious look. Maybe he was just imagining things? He gave a shrug and walked on towards the lake. Rick watched the other go and let out a heavy breath as quietly as he could, lifting a shaky hand to his canines to make sure they had gone down. What in the hell had that been? It shouldn't have been possible by this point. His neck started to burn again and he quickly slapped his hand up to his neck as if that could stop it. A loud roar made Rick's head feel like it was splitting from the inside causing him to stumble a bit. The wall in Rick's mind was starting to give, he could hear the claws scratching at it, the growls and roars were getting louder. At first he'd thought he was just making things up but you couldn't make this up, not all of this. The Deputy swallowed hard and looked up to where the Fox was prowling ahead, maybe Daryl wouldn't be so mad after all. 

The Hunter heard the Deputy start following behind him after a moment but he couldn't get that scent out of his head. In this area there shouldn't be any wild cats plus he couldn't sense any other Shifters, maybe he was finally going crazy? The Fox gave an offended whine and Daryl huffed a laugh at the beast, sensitive thing. "Ya just insulted the Fox didn't ya." 

Daryl gave an amused look at the Deputy, he guessed he'd just have to get used to someone knowing what's going on inside his head. "He's just getting riled up, been a while since he's been out and now he wants more." 

 

"The lake is just directly in front of us right?" 

Daryl gave a nod. Rick turned to look at him from the side and gave him a toothy grin. "Well, then let him out." And took off running through the woods. 

Daryl stared at the running man in front of him before quickly shedding his clothes and bow, hiding them under some tree roots. He crouched down and left the Shift take over as he started racing towards the running Deputy. The damn man was fast but the Fox could navigate the forest at night better than any human. Rick could hear Daryl behind him and let his feet carry him over the rocks and roots in the ground, the lake was just in front of him now, when a nasty idea hit him. The trees ahead were low enough that he could jump up and grab a branch so he did. The Deputy gave a leap and grabbed onto a low branch and pulled himself up enough to where he was off the ground and Daryl would run right past him. The Fox stared at the now tree-borne Deputy and was so distracted he forgot to put on the brakes. He went right over the edge of the bank and went rolling down until he landed flat on his face in the lake. 

Rick let go of the branch and raced down to make sure his partner was okay. When the Fox gave Rick a very offended look he lost it, started laughing like a loon. The Fox let out a snort but drug himself out of the water while the Deputy continued to laugh and Daryl found he enjoyed the sound. "I thought the point of fishin' was ta catch fish, not scare 'em off!" 

If Daryl could have he'd have flipped the other off but settled in glowering at the younger man. Rick just snickered but lowered down to run a hand along the Fox's jaw, giving him a very pleased look. The Hunter leaned into the touch and not for the first time wished it was his human form receiving the attention but pressed the thought down; any attention was better than none. "Now how's about we try to catch some dinner." 

 

 

 

Shane was tired. He couldn't figure out what to do, Lori was pregnant and it was beginning to show, Carl was looking up to him in everything but he wasn't the boy's father. The boy's father was at the back of the group being completely ignored. A part of the leader felt horrible for that, that man was supposed to be his best friend but you couldn't tell now. Everyone was feeding off of how he treated Rick but it wasn't supposed to be like that. He had lied and Rick knew it but hadn't said anything and there was no way Shane could come clean. He'd be kicked out! But he didn't know what to do, the group was suffering. Rick would know what to do because he always knew how to fix things. Lori had been a mistake but then Rick had come back and just taken over everything and Shane hadn't reacted well. He felt bad about attacking his friend and about lying. He had expected Rick to fight back but he hadn't l and in a way that was worse than if he had. If he'd fought back then Shane wouldn't be so guilty about having hurt and lied about the man he'd been so close to. Casting a glance over his shoulder, the man saw Rick at the back walking with Dixon. As usual. A sneer worked its way across his mouth and he twisted back to drive the group on faster. 

He knew why Rick and Dixon got along so well but he was sure Rick didn't tell the other man. Hell Carl didn't even know because of himself and Lori. If Rick had had his way then the tests would never have been done and neither would the surgeries. He couldn't let Carl go through that if he had a choice in the matter and the fact that Rick would have let him had never sat well with Shane. It's not that Shane minded it was just...he didn't trust it is all. He knew Lori didn't either and they had only been looking out for Rick even if he didn't realize it. 

"Mom!" 

Shane turned around to see Lori leaning against a tree holding her protruding belly. He didn't know how she did it, the rest of her body looked like a skeleton and if he was being honest he didn't think she'd make it through the labor. Lori hadn't been made for labor and having Carl had put her at risk before all of this but Rick had been there for her then. Now he couldn't even stand next to her or his son or anyone else except Dixon which made Shane all kinds of angry. He'd seen them make their own little camp yesterday with the fish they'd caught and cooked up together all cozy like. Dixon wanted Rick plain as the nose on Shane's own face and at this rate Rick wouldn't refuse the redneck. Shane couldn't imagine Rick leaving of his own accord but if Dixon pushed him he could possibly convince Rick to leave the group to go off on their own, and they'd succeed Shane knew. Those two had a chemistry he and Rick had never been able to accomplish even before he'd slept with the man's wife and screwed everything up. 

"We'll camp here folks!" 

He went over and gently helped Lori sit down with Carol while T-Dog set up a fire. Everyone had started to settle down and Shane knew that they didn't have any leftover food so he'd have to get those two to hunt again. He turned to find those two were nowhere in sight. 

"They went to go set up their camp and hunt." 

Shane turned to see the oldest Greene daughter standing behind him. She was as pretty as a southern belle could be and she was all Glenn's. A part of Shane envied the Asian but he knew it wouldn't do any good so he ignored it for the most part. 

"Think they're settin' up their own place?" 

Maggie scoffed at him, "Wouldn't you? If I's them I'd hate ta be around us." 

Shane bulked at that, "Hey now. We haven't wronged them!" 

She gave him a wide eyed look like she couldn't believe Shane had said that. The girl opened and closed her mouth several times before closing them and walking off without another word, not that Shane could blame her. Those words had left an acidic taste in his tongue which even the strongest alcohol wouldn't have gotten rid of. Giving one last look towards the forest, Shane gave a sigh before heading back towards the camp to find Carl. 

Lord knows where the kid might wonder off to...


	5. What Did He Mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So good news! The laptop is fixed so the chapters should be longer now! And the updates should come now since I'm not typing one handed now. I've gotten kinda mixed reactions from this story, most of which start out with 'this didn't really sound interesting' or 'This sounded kinda lame but I gave it a chance' and I'm so grateful y'all did give it a chance! Every single reader is important! But what would make more of y'all interested in reading this?

Carl was so sick of the Apocalypse. It was so boring and it made his mom fuss over him even more than before which was never a cool thing. Being the only kid around was tough, he'd liked Sophia too...but it still sucked that she was gone. He kicked a rock as he wandered down the path in front of him. Then there was his 'dad'...the teen scrunched up his nose at the thought of the man. He'd loved his father dearly before the turn but now he could hardly stand the man, nothing the man did made sense! Shane had only tried to help the family and his father had attacked the man who had called him brother. Shane had saved his life and his mother's life, wasn't that enough for his dad? 

 

A big part of Carl knew that his mother and father weren't happy together and that everyone, including himself, was being too harsh on his father but he couldn't help it. His mother had never wanted to marry his father he was pretty sure, all 12 of his years his parents had been arguing but his father never yelled like his mother had. His mother would yell and scream and holler at his father but his dad had never screamed back and had always tried to placate his mother. 

 

Except for once. 

 

He remembered years ago there had been one particular fight that had sent Carl crying in his room. 

 

His father had been late because of work and it had been their anniversary. His mother had prepared a nice dinner and everything for them when she'd gotten the call from the Sheriff's clerk that his dad had been sent out to catch some bank robbers. She had been so mad that she'd smashed all the dishes to the ground and destroyed all of them, threw out all the food, ripped up the card she'd bought for him, then like all the energy just left her she...collapsed. He doubted she knew he'd been watching considering he'd only probably been 8 or 9 and was long supposed to be in bed. Carl couldn’t tell you what had stopped him but he'd stopped himself from going to comfort his mother, had simply sat there hidden behind the stair rail and watched as she'd cried for hours and hours till they heard the door click open. 

 

He'd never forget his father's exhausted and haggard face, he'd looked...so tired.   
Lori had gotten so angry with him, running over and slapped him so hard his head had turned to the side. Carl had flinched from his mother's anger and buried himself again the stairs to stay hidden. Mom had yelled and asked him what he was doing missing this important date, that no reason was good enough. His dad had tried to calm her, had told her the truth about the chase that had gone down but nothing had been good enough for her and she'd gone on a tangent. She'd yelled about how he'd never been serious about them and that family obviously wasn't important to him, that she wasn't important to him. She'd questioned about whether he cared about her at all and asked him why he could never try to give her a second thought. Why couldn’t he just be a normal husband. 

 

His father had sat there and taken all of it until that one thing. That was the first time his father had reacted, he'd looked so very angry and hurt and he'd just bared his teeth at her like a snarl. 

 

"I was normal before I met you." 

 

Carl had just watched as his dad had thrown the gift he'd bought his mother on the couch and stormed passed her to head to the closet where he stored his uniform. His mother hadn't had any words to that, just stared at him with her mouth gaping open like a fish. It took her a moment but he heard her take another breath to start up again, he couldn’t take anymore though and snuck back up the stairs and into his room. His younger self had thought that pulling up the covers was like blocking it all out, like he couldn't hear anymore, but he could still. Little hands came up to cover his ears and he could feel his eyes burning with tears. Why was his mom so mean to his dad? He sobbed for who knows how long before he heard the door open to his room. He bit his lip to stifle the sobs that were coming out of his throat but he knew he couldn't stop them from being heard. 

 

Carl felt the bed dip next to him and he'd been afraid it had been his mother but when the form had curled up next to him and pulled him back, his back had hit a broad chest and he'd known it was his father who had slipped in. The child's body had relaxed against his father, he'd always felt safe with his dad. Carl didn't bother hiding the sobs anymore and his dad had simply let him cry in his arms, offering up soothing noises and running a hand down his arm. He'd fallen asleep listening to his father apologizing to him, telling him he was sorry for all of this, that he wasn't there when he needed him. Carl had wanted to ask him what was wrong and what he was apologizing for but he had been so tired... 

 

Coming back to the present Carl looked around and realized he had no idea where he was. Fear raced up the teen's back as he looked around at where he was but couldn't see any trace of the camp or Shane or his mother. He turned around and around like he was trying to find some sort of landmark but he couldn't find any, what was he going to do? 

 

"I'll go back the way I came, I should get back to some kind of familiar place right?" 

 

Talking to himself seemed to help Carl think better, a habit he picked up from his father he was sure, and he decided to try that idea. His only problem was that everything looked the same and turning in every direction made it difficult for the teenager to find what direction he'd come from. Daryl would know. His dad would find some way to do something about this. But what was a 12 year old supposed to do? Not seeing any other option the boy decided to pick a direction and run with it, that was going to take him somewhere at least. 

 

 

 

Shane ran a hand over his mouth in frustration; Carl wasn't anywhere to be found. He'd asked everyone at the camp with the exception of Lori, who was in the tents resting and had no idea her child was missing, and the two outcasts. He supposed that asking Rick and Daryl would be his best option but he couldn't find them! They'd gone off to hunt and set up their own camp as soon as they'd settled down and like hell Shane could find them on his own but he wasn't risking a group leaving and having the rest at risk to Walkers. 

 

"T!" 

 

T-Dog jogged over to the former Deputy, "What's up?" 

 

"I’m going to find Rick and Daryl, you're in charge while I'm gone." 

 

The other man perked up at the names of the two loners, "You sure that's good idea man? Going off on your own to find them I mean..." 

 

Shane gave the other a nod but wouldn't look him in the eye for some reason, "Yeah can't have too many of us gone, ya know?" 

 

And with that Shane shouldered his rifle and took off in the direction he figured Rick and the other had gone. He wasn't too sure how he was going to find them but if he guessed right then Daryl and Rick would hear him and come to find out what was making the stomping noise in the forest around them. The former Deputy remembered a time when he wouldn't have even needed to second guess where Rick was going because he'd know exactly where the man was. A big part of the man missed his best friend, missed what they'd shared, but he had no idea how to get it back or if he even could. Rick hadn't forgiven Shane or Lori for betraying him 12 years ago and the relationship hadn't ever really recovered, not that Shane had exactly expected it to but now he regretted going along with Lori's plan all those years ago. 

 

If Shane could go back in time he would warn his younger self to not go along with Lori's scheme and try to stop her from going so far. Betraying Rick had been one thing but she'd put Carl at risk before he was even born! He could remember the arguments between the couple, Rick had begged Shane to see logic but at the time he'd been so jealous and had wanted to please Lori so he'd turned his back on Rick. Stupid idiot, and for what? All because of his stupid highschool crush. A twig snapped behind Shane and he turned around expecting to see Rick or Daryl but coming face to face with the deteriorating face of Walker. 

 

"Shit!" Shane shot off a round without even thinking about the noise. 

 

There were footsteps racing towards him so Shane imed his gun in the direction and put his finger on the trigger. There was a moment before he saw two figures come out of the brush, one with a crossbow poised to shoot and another with a knife in his hand. Rick looked at Shane in confusion for a moment before Daryl nudged him and gestured behind Shane. The Deputy looked behind the other to see the body of the Walker and understanding dawned on his face, he put the knife in its sheath and crossed his arms. 

 

"What do ya need Shane?" 

 

Shane swallowed bit. Rick had put his weapon away but Daryl hadn't, and it was pointed straight at him. He let out a strained laugh, "Mind tellin' yer attack dog to lower to bow?" 

 

Wrong thing to say. 

 

Daryl snarled at him and raised the bow even higher while Rick just gave him a look of pure disgust. He put out his hand and put it lightly on Daryl's bow, telling him to stand down. "What. Do. You. Want." 

 

Shane ran his sweaty hands along his thighs and swallowed a bit. 

 

"Carl is missing."

He felt himself flinch a bit as Rick stared at him for a moment before he looked over to Daryl with worry plain on his face. Daryl seemed to understand exactly whatever it was Rick has said because he was off without another word to either of them. Shane was tempted to ask where he was going but figured he didn't really have the right to ask such questions anymore. "How long ago did you notice?" 

 

Shane had to think on it for a second before he remembered, "It was about an hour ago. He wandered off right when we set up camp." 

 

Rick let out a tiny curse and a snarl. There was heat coursing through his body and he felt a familiar presence surge forward. Cub. In Danger. Must find. His fangs grow a bit and he heard a growl echo through his head only to realize that that sound had been made aloud. The back of his neck burned and a searing pain began to run down every vein in his body from the back of his neck all the way down his back. It's a good thing Daryl wasn't here because this wasn't how Rick wanted the other to find out. He wanted to sit the other down, to tell him about the surgeries, about the arguments, tell him that he would never have willingly turned his back on what he was. That he didn't know how to tell him sooner, he wasn't trying to lie to Daryl! Rick didn't even think he'd ever be himself again thanks to Shane and Lori but it looked like he was beginning to see himself again. 

He wanted Daryl to realize he wasn't alone.

 

 

Shane stepped back from the other man with a hint of fear in his eyes but mainly he was happy. Rick was beginning to come back into himself! Shane hadn't destroyed him after all! He felt like he could weep for joy at the fact that his friend was back with him in true form. Lori would be pissed off but who gave a rat's ass about her at the moment, Rick had had everything taken from him and here he was getting a second chance. Maybe Rick wasn't the only one, maybe Shane could get a second chance too. It would have to mean coming clean...to everyone. It would mean having to tell Carl the truth about his father and about himself. But if Rick was willing to have him, then Shane would be there every step of the way with him. They might not be the best of brothers anymore but he still considered Rick a friend. His closest friend. 

"Rick?"

Golden slit pupils turned towards him, a bit feral in their gleam but still human. "What are we gonna do?" 

Rick snapped at him, "You go back, keep everyone calm. Daryl and I will find Carl." 

Shane nodded and turned to follow his orders but before he did he looked over his shoulder to look at Rick, "When ya find him...are ya gonna tell Carl the truth?" 

Rick stopped for a moment but turned to look Shane straight in the eye, "It's not the right time. Don't tell anyone what you've seen. When the time is right the truth will come out. The group doesn't need anymore drama to add to it until we find a stable place to stay." 

He began to walk back but stopped when he heard Shane call his name again. Blue eyes, pure human eyes, met Shane's as he tried to convey his feelings to his oldest friend, "I can't fix what I've done but I just want you to know...I'm sorry. For all that shit I put you through and for what I've put you through now." 

For a moment Shane thought Rick would attack him but then he remembered that his friend wasn't a wild animal, he was human. He gave a sigh as he stared at Shane for good long while, longer than he should have, but he couldn't help it. How do you tell someone who's apologized that you're just not ready to go there yet? Rick was still trying to figure out how to control his full self and now Shane was trying to make peace? He couldn't just forgive him for everything but holding a grudge wouldn't fix anything. But two words didn't fix anything either....

Could Shane ever really fix what he'd taken from Rick? 

Sure he was getting it back but that was a fluke, nothing Shane did. Shane could never have fixed that. And he'd taken a part of Rick like he'd taken limb. That couldn't just be forgotten. 

"Shane...I..."

Shane gave him a small smile, "Hey man. I get it."

He was off before Rick could say another word. Carl was the priority now.


	6. The Truth Will Always Come Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl finally figures out what that feline scent is and why Rick is so afraid to answer questions. CHAPTER 7 UPDATED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry this has taken so long! Things here have not been as great as they could be...but I'm trying to make sure this chapter was worth the wait. You finally get your Rickyl! And answers!

Carl didn’t know how long he had been walking but he knew that everyone would be running around looking for him now, which would mean his mother definitely knew he wasn’t where he should be. Guilt began to work through the young boy’s veins as he tried to pick up the pace. He knew that even if he walked faster since he didn’t know where he was going, still, it just meant he could get even more lost even faster. What would Shane do when he found him? Would he find him?

What about his dad?

A noise ahead got the boy’s attention and he looked up to see some movement in the bushes ahead. Carl let a giant grin take over his face, he’d gotten back! Without even hesitating he ran forward towards the rustling at full speed. “Mom!”

He burst through the leaves only to come face to face with the dull black eyes of a dead doe hanging from a hunter’s trap and the two walkers tearing the intestines out of the gaping hole in its belly. The young child’s sudden entrance got the attention of the walker closest and the decomposed corpse looked right at him, blood and chunks of flesh hanging from the exposed jaw bone. It let out a squealing howl and started to approach him wanting to tear at the warm flesh of the living instead of the cold flesh of another dead body. Carl let out a scream and ran away from the hanging deer and walkers but he knew that the beings were following him.

There was a dragging noise behind him and he knew he wouldn’t make it out if more than two came after him. He didn’t have a gun or a knife and he certainly couldn’t fight them off. He was done for. Tears started to stream down his face as he ran, thinking of his mom, Shane, Sophia since he’d be seeing her soon enough, Beth who he’d thought he might have had a chance with, Daryl who he had looked up to since the beginning even after he’d been such a brat.

His father.

He would never get to apologize to his father. To tell him he was so sorry for saying all those nasty things to him. For ignoring him. For glaring at him. For being so mean to him. He’d seen his dad’s face every day, it was a blank slate but his eyes were so sad. He’d done that to his own dad just like his mother always did.

His lungs were killing him as he ran and he knew it was almost time; he couldn’t keep running for too much longer. Against his better judgement, Carl chanced a look over his shoulder to see that more walkers had joined the original two. He didn’t bother counting exactly how many he just knew that he couldn’t fight that many. The trees were all too high to climb and it was already getting darker, before too long and he wouldn’t be able to see a foot in front of him let alone the ground in front of his feet. Despite knowing he couldn’t fight them off Carl continued to run even after his legs started to scream for him to stop.

Stopping meant certain death.

He wasn’t ready to die.

What about his mom? His little sibling? His dad?

Losing Sophia had crushed Carol almost, but what would his mom do? She’d lose him and his father. She couldn’t go through that. He couldn’t put her through it. He had to make sure he got to meet his little brother or sister. He was going to be the best older sibling but in order to do that he had to live.

To live meant to run.

A hiss zoomed by Carl’s ear and a body fell to the ground. The pre-teen whipped around to stare at the arrow protruding out of one of the walker’s heads. Another hiss, another body on the ground. Another, and another. Carl watched it happen like it was happening in slow motion but he could hear each time the crossbow releases and he knew immediately that there was only one person who can load a crossbow that fast. Or even has a crossbow that he knows of for that matter.

Before the kid could turn around a hand grasped his shoulder and he was pulled forward into a firm chest and hands running over him to make sure there was no bite. The natural smell of his dad made Carl start to cry in relief, wrapping his arms around his dad as far as they could go. Rick was muttering something over and over but he couldn’t really hear it over his sobs. The older male brought a hand under his son’s chin and raised his face to look at him but there was something…weird.

His dad’s eyes were gold.

Carl blinked to clear his eyes and the familiar pools of blue were staring back at him. But he could have sworn he’d seen gold eyes. Daryl went tense next to him and shot his dad a look of surprise for a second before going over and retrieving the arrows he’d used.

“Carl?”

Locking away the information he’d just learned for later said boy looked at his dad and tried to smile but it was a little difficult so he just buried his face into his shoulder and continued to cry.

Rick ran his hands through his son’s hair and gave little shushing noises to soothe his son while thinking of his next step. Daryl saw his eyes. So did Carl.

Now what?

Daryl kept quiet as he collected his arrows. Rick’s eyes had been gold, there was no way he had imagined that. Goin’ by the look on the kid’s face Daryl reckoned he’d seen it too but had dismissed it. And that feline scent had come up again! The only person who had been around in both instances was Rick. It wasn’t a coincidence and Daryl knew he wasn’t imagining things.

The redneck thought back to when he’d asked Rick what he was hidin’, Rick had been so scared, so ashamed. Had he been a Shifter but gone through one of those surgeries to remove the Shifter DNA markers? How could he do that! He had no problems with Daryl, did he? He didn’t seem to. Maybe he just hadn’t been happy as one…but to turn your back and shut your other half out like that….it was the same as murder. Or really suicide because your other half was part of you, not another being. That would explain why Rick seemed like such a broken man now. He was literally missing half of himself. Daryl looked back to see Carl still sobbing into his father’s chest but Rick’s eyes were on him.

Those eyes that used to seem as blue as the sky and the ocean…now they just looked like ice now that he knew what Rick had done.

He scowled and turned back around. A whiff of bitterness blew towards him; sadness. Shifters could almost scent emotions at times, specific emotions released certain hormones which gave off scents. Each Shifter identified with each emotion differently but they could all do it. It would’ve explained how Rick seemed to know him so well…

There was a stab at his heart at that thought. How could he have fallen for a murderer? He’d always thought Rick was the best thing, put him up on a pedestal like he was some champion, the Alpha he’d always wanted for himself. But that image was burned to a crisp now. He would never forgive Rick for doing that to himself, but more importantly to his other half. Obviously he still lived with some traits, still was reminded of what he was almost every day and Daryl was secretly pleased with that. Let the murder remember what he was, let him suffer. He yanked his last arrow out and turned to look at Rick who just had this heartbroken look on his face.

_‘Don’ give me that look ya bastard! Ya lied to me! Just’ like everyone else.’_

That was the only thing racing through Daryl’s mind and he knew Rick heard him. The Deputy’s eyes got wide and his mouth dropped, he looked so horrified. A part of Daryl couldn’t help but wonder if he even had all the pieces of the puzzle, couldn’t help but remember how he said he’d wait till Rick was ready to tell him, but right now all he could feel was anger and pain. Rick had pretended to understand and now Daryl knew that it hadn’t been pretend. Rick had understood.

And he’d taken the coward’s way out.

Daryl sneered at the other before stalking off to get away from the traitor.

Rick felt like his world had just come crashing down on him. Daryl, the one man that he’d come to depend on, to need, had just called him a traitor. Had just walked out on him. Had just…walked out of his life. His one life line. Gone.

He felt hollow. The warm body of his son in his arms didn’t even register as he picked him up and began to carry him back to the camp. Carl must have exhausted himself along the way back, Rick looked down to see Carl curled up against him and breathing in a deep and even pattern. Lucky kid. Rick knew he probably wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight himself between the adrenaline rush from looking for Carl, Shane’s sudden attitude change, and now Daryl’s justified anger. He didn’t know how to approach Daryl really now that he’d found out before Rick could really start to ease him into the secret, of course Daryl had suspected something but he hadn’t had any definite proof. Now he certainly did. And Carl had seen something as well, his reaction hadn’t been that of someone who was happy to see a person but rather someone who saw something that confused them.

The Deputy was so caught up in his thoughts that he never saw his furious wife stomp up to him, he never saw the hand swing out towards him until the hand had already landed on his face. His eyes widened as he stared at the woman in front of him. What in the hell was she doing? He had Carl in his arms!

“Take your hands off my son you monster.” 

Monster. So he was a monster now?

Rick tightened his arms around Carl out of instinct, this woman was out of control and he didn’t want his cub near her, but she was his mother. Lori’s stomping had drawn attention to them and now everyone was watching to see what he would do. They all wanted him to do something that would give them what they needed to get rid of him but he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of it. Shane was stepping closer to Lori, trying to get her to back off, but Rick gave him a motion with his eyes to stop because it wouldn’t do anything. Lori, watching Rick’s every move, saw how he glared at Shane as he approached.

“Don’t you dare glare at him! He’s not the one who got Carl almost killed!”

The Deputy snarled at the woman in front of him, “And how did I almost get him killed? Daryl saved him while I made sure he was okay. So please tell me how it’s my fault when you’re the one who wasn’t watching him.”

Rick saw as the blood pooled in her cheeks. Bingo. He’d called her out on her shit parenting and now she was getting ready to blow. But before she could say anything Carol decided to step forward, “It’s convenient that when it’s your own child you always seem to come out with him safe but if it’s anyone else’s child they seem to just disappear. Tell me Rick, why is that?”

“Why is Rick always the one stuck lookin’ after y’all’s brats? If ya can’t keep up with ‘em why have ‘em?”

Rick’s heart started to speed up at the voice. Daryl. Daryl was back. Daryl defended him.

Carol gave the hunter a shocked look like she couldn’t believe he would actually say anything like that to her, but despite her disbelief she apparently didn’t feel the need to voice it. Or anything. Shane had snuck over during the argument and reached out to gently take Carl from Rick’s arms without jostling the kid who had managed to sleep through all of the party. Rick let out a tiny growl but let the boy go, he needed rest and he wasn’t going to get any if he stuck around here it would seem.

Lori gave a huff and turned to follow Shane with her son towards their tent and everyone else seemed to filter after them, some lingering longer than others but no one saying anything to the two men. Once they were alone Rick finally gave into the temptation of turning around to face the older Shifter. Daryl’s face was a completely blank mask but at least he wasn’t sneering at Rick like before so he would take what he could get.

“Daryl-”

“We need to talk Rick.”

Rick nodded and gestured for Daryl to follow him down the path they had come up to bring Carl back. All the walkers were dead but no one would go down there anyway, just to stay on the safe side, so it would be the perfect route to tell Daryl everything even though a part of him never wanted to tell anyone what had happened. They walked for what felt like hours in complete silence, neither really willing to break the ice but both knowing it needed to be done. Rick stops after a while and just stares at Daryl as he continues to walk away.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

That stops Daryl but he doesn’t turn around, Rick saw him tighten his fists so tight the cop thought he’d drawn blood but there was no metallic taste in the air. Yet.

“I am a Shifter, I was born a Shifter and I have never been ashamed of who I am.”

The hunter reeled around so fast that Rick was surprised he hadn’t snapped any bones as he began to grit his teeth into a growl at him, “Then why hide it? Huh? Why let me go through all of that, tell ya you’re like a Shifter but never sayin’ anythin’? Never Shiftin’.”

“Because I didn’t know I could Shift still!”

Daryl snorted. “Oh yeah, real proud of your heritage alright. What, ya get bullied in school so’s ya decided ta get the surgery ta be normal? No more bullying? Gotta get miss trophy wife? Can’t have a pretty woman like her marry some beast.”

Daryl kept telling himself to stop in his mind but his mouth was on a roll now and it wasn’t going to just stop.

“So tell me, did ya get the procedure done on yer kid too? Gotta make sure the cub doesn’t come out like some freak just like his dadd-”

The fist came out of nowhere, not even the Fox had sensed it coming but they sure as hell felt it. The ground hit them hard but it didn’t dull the anger any, Daryl looked up ready to start another round when he froze as he caught sight of the man in front of him. He was…beautiful.

Rick’s eyes had turned into pure gold and his canines had elongated but while the eyes and teeth were hot as fuck, it was his brand that had finally surfaced. Long tendrils of black ink came up onto Rick’s face like smoke from his neck where there was a waxing crescent moon with a cat coming out of it like it was jumping out to attack. The tail wrapped around the moon and around the back of Rick’s neck, up towards his the bottom of his left ear. The right side of his face had black swirls covering it, almost like claw marks. Daryl had to wonder what else was attached to the brand where skin wasn’t visible. Such a mark was rare, but so was being able to basically merge with your other half so that you present both forms in one.

“I am not a freak, Shifters are not freaks! I was perfectly normal before that bitch got hold of me. I would never have tried to get rid of a part of myself, never. I would never have let Carl be put through the dangers of that surgery when he was just a baby, but no one asked me!”

Rick let out this pained growl and backed away from the fallen Fox, his back hitting a nearby tree and his hands covering his face. Daryl could hear something being whispered over and over but he couldn’t understand the words. As the Fox slowly stood up, he hesitated to go any closer. None of this was making sense, what did he mean ‘no one asked him’? It was his kid, he had to be asked as a parent of a potential Shifter. Put one foot in front of the other, lightly, he slowly approached the Alpha in front of him.

“No one asked me…no one…no one asked…”

“Rick?”

Daryl kneeled in front of the other a few inches away, not close enough to touch, but he could feel the body heat coming off of the other man. “Rick what do you mean?”

Those hands moved to reveal eyes that looked almost shattered by betrayal, “I didn’t agree to this.”

Daryl froze.

You can’t force anyone to take the surgery, it’s barbaric and it was outlawed when the surgery first started to appear. Any doctor caught doing unwilling procedures was given the death penalty as dictated by the state of Georgia.

“Ya didn’t agree to what Rick?”

“I would never have let them turn me into…into this. I met Lori in highschool, in a human highschool, but she didn’t care that I was a Shifter. It didn’t seem to bother her. We dated for years and I asked her to marry me right before our second year of college, she said yes of course. When we decided to try for a kid after we’d graduated she asked me if I would consider the surgery. I told her no. It didn’t make her happy because she was worried that Carl might turn out to be a Shifter, Shane agreed with her.”

Daryl had to let out a snort at that, jealous even back then was he?

Rick continued like he hadn’t heard though, “About a week before Carl was due I was eating breakfast when I suddenly didn’t feel too well. The room started spinning, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, there was something wrong. So Lori rushed me to the hospital. And when I woke up…”

 _‘Oh god please no’_ was the only thing playing throughout Daryl’s head, Rick didn’t have to go through that. He didn’t. No one could be that cruel. Rick paused for a moment and Daryl wished he could reach out, run his fingers along that brand, just comfort him, but he couldn’t so he offered all the silent support he could and prayed he was wrong.

“When I woke up I felt…empty. I tried to reach out to my other half but there was this wall of sorts there that I couldn’t penetrate and I began to panic. Lori and Shane rushed in to calm me down but I knew something was wrong so I asked what they’d done to me. Lori gave me this pained smile and said that she’d done what she’d thought was best for our son.”

Rick looked straight at Daryl, “She’d had me drugged so she could remove my Shifter DNA markers. And Shane had helped her.”

The Fox had heard enough at that point, he started yipping and racing in Daryl’s mind to get out. He needed to touch Rick. To make sure he wasn’t imagining things. He needed to just-

Rick let out one sobbed word.

“Please.”

Within seconds Rick had his arms full of a red and white Fox yipping and whining as it tried to get as close to him as possible. He wrapped his arms around the fox and held it tight while he sobbed out his tears into Daryl’s fur. For 12 years he’d kept that bottled up, no one had ever known outside of the 3 of them, how could you tell anyone else that had happened to you? That you’d been violated in the most intimate of ways by the people you held most dear?

“C-Carl doesn’t even know I was born a Shifter.”

Daryl let out a high pitched whine at that and turned to face Rick with those blue eyes of his. Those eyes told Rick how sorry Daryl was that he’d ever gone through that, how sorry he was for how he’d reacted to Rick, for not trusting him.

“I just couldn’t report her Daryl…she was carrying my cub. I couldn’t take her away from him. I just couldn’t…”

Tears burned Rick’s eyes as he began to relive that day in his head, the one he’d gone so long trying to suppress. A purring noise in the back of his mind reminded him that he didn’t have to worry anymore, that those days were long gone now. A cold nose touched his cheek, a gentle lick brought him back to reality. He stared at Daryl. A lick on the cheek? But that was the same as a kiss…surely Daryl couldn’t…

“Daryl…? You do know what that means right?”

Rick was afraid to ask because this day just couldn’t get any more emotional. He couldn’t take Daryl later telling him that it was just a form of comfort. The blue eyes in front of him blinked slowly as if to say yes and leaned in closer just to run his cheek again. A warmth filled Rick’s chest, a familiar one, and it started to spread throughout his body. Eyes closed, head leaned back, the curly hair started to shrink, the legs and arms started to shape and reform into paws. Daryl stepped back and watched as the man he cared for finally showed him who he truly was.

When golden eyes reopened Daryl found himself staring straight into the face of a Mountain Lion.

While Daryl might have been slightly bigger than a normal Fox he was dwarfed by the size of Rick’s other half. From the ground to his shoulder was an easy three feet and he had to be seven feet long to his tail, that beautiful mop of curls Rick carried had morphed into a smooth tawny coat with a beige chest and under belly. His snout had black smears around it and his ears were perfectly outlined in black, each paw was firm on the ground, lined with muscle that Daryl could see from his small gap away.

The mountain lion looked down in embarrassment, _‘I know it’s not exactly much but, here I am.’_

Daryl could only gape at the man. If he’d thought Rick the human was handsome then Rick the Mountain Lion was just goddamn perfect. He couldn’t even begin to describe the feelings that were coursing through his body at the moment.

_‘Daryl?’_

Without even thinking about it Daryl the Fox trotted up to the Mountain Lion and began to nuzzle into his neck. Rick just stood there in shock for a moment before lowering his own head and rubbing it along Daryl’s in return. And if he happened to rub his scent markers along Daryl’s coat so that he smelled like Rick, well then who going to know? And if Daryl happened to notice the Mountain Lion doing that then maybe his purring started.

_‘Are you…purring?’_

‘Maybe I am. That a problem?’ The voice was rumbling with the purrs inside of Rick’s mind.

All Shifter’s could communicate through their minds but when it was just two like this it seemed to become even more intimate than before. Rick padded up to the Fox and looked down at him for a moment before lowering his head and giving a gentle nip to Daryl’s throat, right where the purring was the loudest.

_‘Not at all.’_

The Fox was starting to get drunk off of the sensations of Rick finally touching him, of finally touching Rick. Granted as humans they still wouldn’t be able to, and Daryl was pretty sure that when they were like this sex would pretty much never happen for obvious reasons, but this was the most intimate he’d ever been with a person and for that person to be the Alpha of his dreams? It was all so much. Rick seemed to understand what was going on and began to usher her towards hill, gently leading him but never breaking the touching.

_‘Where are we goin’? Everyone else is back there?’_

Rick looked down at the Fox and let out a smile that was all teeth, _‘Fuck them I want to spend the night curled up with you.’_

Well. Daryl couldn’t very well say no to that could he?

The Fox followed Rick until they came across a small little cove type place by the river. Daryl hadn't noticed before but there was a small waterfall at the other end, Rick gracefully jumped from the shore to the first stone and across to the waterfall. The older Shifter thought Rick would go through the waterfall but he landed on a small ledge next to it and flicked his tail for Daryl to follow. When he reached the ledge Daryl noticed the drizzle that had started to fall around them and that behind the waterfall was a cave.

_'Ya like it? I noticed it while we were playin' earlier.'_

Daryl could only nod as he looked out the water to see the distorted reflections of the world. From in here it just looked...quiet. Like nothing was wrong or screwed up. In this small cave Daryl had found the paradise he'd always wanted; a place out in the woods where he could run and hunt in whatever form he wanted to, and an Alpha who wanted him. Somebody wanted a nobody like him, wanted to give him the world. And he had to give it all up for some hypocritical bastards who couldn't save themselves.

_'We don' have to give it up Daryl._

The Fox whipped around to stare at the other in disbelief, _'What'd ya mean we don' have ta give it up? Of course we do! It's not like everyone could stay here!'_

_'We could come back. Just the two of us.'_

Daryl couldn't figure it out. They both decided they wouldn't leave the group so what did the Alpha mean?

_'Rick...you're not makin' any sense. When could we come back? We'll be miles away soon.'_

Rick padded up to the other, in this cramped space Rick must have been feeling a little claustrophobic, and nuzzled Daryl's shoulder, rubbing his scent markers back and forth on Daryl's fur, _'Let's get the group somewhere safe that they can defend...and then you and me just...come back.'_

Daryl jerked back like he'd been burned. Surely he hadn't heard right but the look Rick was giving him convinced Daryl that his Alpha was serious, he was offering Daryl the chance to get away from those people, to have everything he'd ever wanted.

_'Why Rick? Why the change of heart?'_

Rick gave his feline shoulders a roll before settling down on the floor to stretch out, _'I'm just tired of constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure one of them isn't coming at me with a knife. I'm sick of hiding, sick of being ridiculed for a lie. But we can't tell the truth about Shane or about me, the group would disintegrate. That blood would be on us but if we got them to a place they could call their own then we would be free. We can't do everything and that would be the most we could do.'_

Daryl nestled up to Rick's side and into his warmth. Rick was finally at his rope's end with these people, they would be free of them. He was righ when he said they couldn't do everything for them so maybe if they got them to a place to call home...maybe that would save them. But the group could never know the truth about Shane's betrayal, Rick was right. If they found out about that and about Rick being a Shifter? All hell would break loose and that blood would be on them because it could have been avoided if they'd just kept their mouths closed.

The warmth of Rick's body was starting to call Daryl to sleep. He had so many questions to ask; what about Carl? Would Rick be okay leaving his son with the people who had done such a thing to him? When would they leave? What if they didn't find a place? But none of that mattered now...because for an instant Daryl had what he'd always wanted. Outside was raining and storming and bloodshed and death and pain and anger but not in here. Here was warmth and love and promises of a life together and of paradise. Here, with Rick, was home.

**Author's Note:**

> So what'd you think? I'd love to hear. Also looking for a beta or just someone to bounce ideas with! Just leave me a comment if you'd be interested, love to hear your thoughts!


End file.
